By Adriana Gómez Schellhaas
Alexandria, VA – My family and I live in our city’s Chirilagua neighborhood. It is a special place made up of individuals who love and support each other. I was recently reminded of this during the death of my friend Maria. She was a mother and neighbor whose family was active in Casa Chirilagua’s programs, where I worked for 12 years. Maria was a gentle, loving, funny woman who adored her children.
When I received the news of Maria’s passing, my heart shattered. Even more so after learning the children’s father had passed away three months prior, leaving the eldest daughter to raise her younger siblings.
On November 8, I walked over to the courtyard of the apartments on Four Mile Road for Maria’s vigil; it’s where she and her family lived for almost two decades. I was greeted by a full courtyard and the sound of a gentleman leading a Spanish hymn. Maria’s neighbor and close friend welcomed me with a hug, and we both cried together. I also saw former coworkers, and we embraced, sharing our sorrow.
Four long tables were set up in a row holding homemade food, desserts, and pastries alongside a giant thermos filled with hot atole, a sweet drink that warms the soul. Throughout the evening, Maria’s friends went around carrying pastries and serving anyone who didn’t have a plate. All were welcome at this overnight vigil.
As I listened to close neighbors of Maria, the resounding message was their concern for her children and how committed they are to supporting them through this loss. They had set up a pop-up gazebo with some lights and a table holding a donation box alongside Maria’s picture. It was a beautiful picture of a caring neighborhood.
Standing there, I recalled a sweet memory of Maria from years back. She had fallen ill, and I visited her at home. While we chatted to distract her from her pain, countless neighbors stopped by, delivering tortillas, tamales, soup, and words of encouragement. Maria told me this kind of support came daily.
Tears flowed as I recalled that memory of standing at her vigil. I was sad that Maria was no longer with us and her children didn’t have their momma. I was deeply moved recalling the generosity of her neighbors then and now, reminding me of Jesus’s words, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” I said a prayer for Maria’s children and gratitude for this important community.
Please consider supporting Maria’s surviving children by donating to their GoFundMe page, gofund.me/ef0a95a1.
I’ve known Clara since 2011 through my work at Casa Chirilagua. Clara’s joy is infectious, and her smile and hugs put anyone in the happiest of moods. Over the years we’ve formed a wonderful friendship.
When I learned of a helpful resource made available by the Kathleen and Edward Arthur Hearts of Love Foundation (HOL), Clara immediately came to mind. My friend Ed Arthur has seen firsthand the beauty of the Chirilagua community and dedicates HOL’s efforts towards Chirilagua and neighbors like Clara.
I invited her over to my house to catch up and share about HOL’s resources. Clara mentioned how her daughter, whom I’d met as a 3rd grader, recently graduated from GMU! When I shared about HOL, she was deeply moved and excited to proceed. We set a time to meet again in a few days to go over the specifics.
When Clara came to my house again, she arrived with a bag full of food for my family and her delicious homemade tamales. This wasn’t simply a kind gesture, it was thoughtful and genuine. I never mentioned my family’s diet or the food staples we eat to her, yet she arrived with those foods! I quickly realized I was in the presence of stealth generosity. The kind of generosity that surprises you not because of the “niceness” of it all but because it was what you actually needed.
Clara’s stealthy generosity continued as we met throughout the summer, even bringing bottles of the vitamin C my kids take as we prepare for kindergarten.
While the HOL resource was something Clara needed, it was not the ideal outcome we hoped for. This was due to reasons that ultimately point to the brokenness of our immigration system and the desperate need for immigration reform. Still, Clara was deeply grateful for the opportunity and now has valuable information she didn’t have before regarding her situation.
Clara showed me incredible hospitality, generosity, and kindness. Her life experiences are chock-full of ingenuity and resilience. People like her make our city more special, unique, and important. I’m grateful HOL is dedicated to Chirilagua, investing in families to ensure their rich resources remain in our city.
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