Alexandria, VA – Hooray for summer break! Long days, no lunch boxes to pack, no school buses to rush for. Just sunshine, popsicles, and carefree family time, right?
Well… sort of.
For a season that’s supposed to feel relaxing, summer somehow has a sneaky way of making parents feel like they’re falling behind. Camps fill up in January. Vacation rentals get booked before the snow melts. Suppose you haven’t carefully curated your child’s “enriching summer experience” with the perfect balance of STEM camps, travel teams, language immersion, and leadership workshops — you may find yourself quietly wondering: Am I doing enough?
You’re not alone. Here in Alexandria where we love a well-managed calendar, the pressure to “maximize summer” can feel very real. And that’s not even counting the endless highlight reels on Instagram of friends’ epic vacations, perfect beach days, or kids mastering their third instrument before August.
But here’s the thing: from a brain-based perspective, unstructured time isn’t just okay — it’s essential.
Neuroscience tells us that boredom isn’t a sign of failure. It’s actually a sign the brain is preparing to engage creatively. When kids have stretches of unstructured time, their brains activate areas involved in imagination, problem-solving, and self-reflection. This is thanks to something called the default mode network — the brain’s background processor that quietly kicks in when we aren’t focused on tasks or screens. In simple terms: boredom allows kids to connect dots, dream big, and build resilience.
That lazy afternoon when your child is sprawled on the living room floor claiming “there’s nothing to do.” That’s their brain working. They may invent a game, build a fort, write a story, or stare at the ceiling while their mind wanders. All of that strengthens the brain’s ability to tolerate discomfort, generate ideas, and manage emotions.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to cancel the family vacation or skip every camp. Structured activities have value too, especially for social connection, skill-building, and plain old fun. The key is balance. If every day is tightly scheduled, there’s no space for the brain to stretch, rest, and grow.
So if your July calendar has a few wide-open days, embrace them. Take a lazy walk along the Alexandria waterfront. Let your kids get a little bored. Sit on the porch, listen to the cicadas, and resist the urge to fill every blank square on the calendar.
Because sometimes, the best kind of summer growth doesn’t come from one more enrichment camp — it comes from the beautiful, brain-building space of simply being.
And honestly? A little unscheduled lemonade in front of the neighbor’s driveway might be the most productive thing you do all summer.
Do you have a question about your family? Ask me a question by writing to me here.
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