How the Wonder of Music Helps Deal with the Fear of Cancer

When musician Matt Davis’ wife Kara got breast cancer 18 years into their marriage, they were obviously worried, as all who encounter cancer are. But like music does for so many, there were some truly magical aspects of musical enlightenment that at least helped subside their fear of where it all may go.

“Cancer is invasive and sneaky,” said Matt. “So when we found her lump and experienced the tests and the diagnosis, I thought for sure the floor was going to fall out from under me and I would disappear, because she was my purpose. But we kept playing music, she kept pulling me in so we could lean on each other. And performing was our reminder to sing the song of us, and to let things go as much as we can, for as long as we can.”

Music is definitely that very special presence that can help distract the devastation of cancer, and moderate its tension. As she was dealing with hers, Kara was a guest on my Living On Music with Steve Houk show on You Tube, as well as a participant in the always remarkable Cancer Can Rock experience of recording as you deal with your cancer, and she spoke to me of not only her and her husband’s musical positivity, but her memorable time with Cancer Can Rock founder/producer Jim Ebert, our episode is here: https://youtu.be/_mfwo8Br_q0?si=ALwQGGrUNzuWO31w

“Fortunately I was able to really get to know Jim through the cancer, that isn’t a great reason to get to know someone (laughs), but to have a such a fun day recording music with friends of ours too, to have something like that while everything is going on around you, it was just really great.”

“Kara was such an amazing talent and human,” said Ebert, “and watching the love between her and Matt was amazing and inspiring. We certainly understand the weight that cancer puts on people and their loved ones, so we try to make the burden a little less.”

Kara had an aggressive diagnosis that was initially treatable, and music was part of what was keeping both of them bolstered at the time. “We got after it for 2 more years,” Matt said. “Both as duo and solo artists, we also had a moment for her to write the song ‘Irene’ (done at her Cancer Can Rock session) and we got to record it with our buddies and put it out in the world. What a special time for us…we were back.”

“So I went to see her play one Sunday in Bluemont, probably after my own gig,” Matt continued, “and she started to complain about some pain in her side and her back and it progressed, and this was the beginning of a recurrence, a new diagnosis of stage 4 triple-negative. She was in and out of the hospital, until she passed away less than 3 months later. And yes, we spent some of that time enjoying tunes by the official hospital musician, he was lovely and he played anything we requested. It meant so much to her, and to the family.”

After he lost his wife, Matt spent time focusing on being a caring family member, and once again music helped to at least somewhat soften his grief and also remind him of who he once had as his partner.

”As soon as I began performing again, it felt like Kara and I were together somehow, performing became medicine. Music brought Kara into my life, and music has helped keep her with me. Cancer destroyed what I wanted my forever to look like, but music helped shape it into something still beautiful.”

Cancer Can Rock is a nonprofit organization founded by Jim Ebert, a multi-platinum record producer and cancer survivor. Unlike most cancer-based charities, Cancer Can Rock doesn’t seek a cure; it strives to serve a singular community: Musicians facing aggressive cancer. Visit cancercanrock.org to learn more about this unique organization and its important work.